Grant

When my first book came out in 2007, authors didn’t have the ability to see how their books were selling across the country in real time. Man, I miss those days.

Behold: Amazon’s new tool for displaying the stark reality of publishing in the 21st Century to its legions of guileless word-monkeys.

The silver lining? Someone in the greater Denver metropolitan area is getting effed good and proper next weekend!

Knowledge = power.

watch?v=nv1VQ7uSC-s

Okay, so it wasn’t quite as heart-warming as that, but I enjoyed it all the same. “Great in Bed” hit the shelves today!

New year, new website and, most excitingly, a new book! “Great in Bed” is available as of January 19th. It’s my first stab at collaborating with another author and Dr. Debby Herbenick of the Kinsey Institute has made it a pleasure. Though we’ve yet to meet face to face, Dr.Debby has lent her expertise in the field of human sexuality to most of the sex-related articles I’ve written for Men’s Health over the years. While I’ve been known to put the “spurt” in “sexpert”,  Dr. Debby is indisputably the real deal.

In terms of the tone of our book, I like to think of it as Dr. Debby giving the play-by-play and in-depth analysis of the issue at hand while I’m more in the role of a color-man: backing up new, peer-reviewed science with thrills, spills, pops, flops, mixed metaphors and non sequiturs plucked from my own sordid experiences — the Charles Barkley approach to imparting accrued wisdom. The net result is — in my humble opinion — a rather fun, modern and irreverent sex guide that’s chock-full of eye-opening new information that will make any reader markedly better in the sack. If I’ve learned anything from working on this book, it’s that alot of us are dragging ass when we’re getting ass, and it’s not doing us, or anyone else a favor. So check it out and step it up.

If, like me, you’re self-absorbed and have a slight excess of fucking-off time and adipose belly fat,  you’ll love MyFitnessPal!  For the past four days I’ve been using it to chart my caloric intake and expenditure and I’m already seeing my navel bagel shrinking. It’s amazing!

Once you’ve downloaded the app, you enter your height, weight, age, gender, activity level and goals. It spits out a target calorie intake to aim for and provided you hit that target, day in and day out, it projects the date on which you’ll have reached your goal. The app tells me that should I can stay the course, I can expect to wake up on February 17th with a Michael Fassbender-esque physique — minus the giant trouser-schnauzer, unfortunately.

You just scan bar codes on your grocery items, figure out your serving size and voila! What’s really cool is that you can clearly see how much exercise you need to do to earn whatever it is you’re planning on shoving into your greedy maw. My goal is 1440 calories per day for example. If I end up eating 1840 calories, the app tells me that I better get my get my running shoes on. I run at 5.5 mph for 50 minutes and I’m back down to 1340, meaning I can snaffle a couple of Jaffa Cakes and still be on track to meet my goals! It’s like magic!